« Law of Attraction – I Dare You NOT to Feel Joy With This One! | Home | The Response Has Been Stirring! »
Are You A Single Woman, Tired of Being and Feeling Alone?
By Sonia Miller | July 25, 2009
You know, today I was going to write about JOY in reference to the video I posted yesterday. WOW that video really struck a chord for people in such a beautiful way. Yesterday morning there were over 1 million hits. Last night over 2 million.
However, I’m called to talk about… rather ask about… something else – women who are tired of being and feeling alone. Maybe this isn’t a total departure, but an interesting springboard… as I look at the ultimate joy and celebration and marriage that many women seek… I think about the women who feel very far away from that experience.
This is not out of the blue. In the last two months, thoughts of single women who feel “on their own” in life and in the world have been tapping on my inner brain.
I think in part because I have female family members that fall into this category and I’ve recently been drawn into really trying to imagine what it would be like – at 40 to have never (that I know of) been in a successful relationship with a man. And a few clients in their 50’s who, although they’ve dated and even been married, at this stage in their lives they find themselves on their own, really having to take care of themselves, no companion, but also not much of a sense of deep belonging – not with family, not with friends, not with community. Or my mother, who was widowed at 48 and lived the rest of her life (24 years) without a companion.
I remember when I was single. I remember a deep loneliness that I ultimately discovered had been the persistent pain I had been stuffing down with Bulimia. I remember the personal growth work I needed to do to come to peace with aloneness, to understand how to relate to my loneliness in a more powerful way, the mindset shifts I had to make about being strong, being vulnerable, being needy, and being open and receptive to other forms of love and support…
I’ve been married to my husband happily for 14 years (together 17), with two beautiful children. We having loving supportive friends, family and community. The woman alone in the world is no longer my reality or anything I have to deal with. At least right now, this is joyfully true. And yet, I’ve very aware that life by nature is change. Children grow up and move out. People live, people die. I’ve accompanied more than one client through painful divorce, death of a spouse, empty nest syndromes.
But, even with the current abundance of relationships during this chapter of my life, sometimes loneliness still shows up. The difference today is that I know what it is really about (afterall, it can’t be about how many people are my life, right?), I know how to listen when loneliness knocks on my door, and I know how to nurture MYSELF to feel “not lonely” again.
What’s the point of my inner ponderings?
I’m thinking I want to help women who relate to this?
I’m wondering if there is a need out there?
Do you struggle with being alone or lonely?
Do you know anyone who does?
Do you have questions you’re seeking answers to about how to change things?
Is there some way I could help you?
I wonder if the Universe is nudging me to put some kind of a class or group together.
Please, if this resonates for you, write me. Let me know what kind of support or class or information you’d like to see offered?
Choose YOUR Reality! tm
Sonia
Topics: Musings, Relationships | 12 Comments »
12 Responses to “Are You A Single Woman, Tired of Being and Feeling Alone?”
Comments
« Law of Attraction – I Dare You NOT to Feel Joy With This One! | Home | The Response Has Been Stirring! »
July 25th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Sonia,
My goodness it is no accident that you might be feeling the way your feeling. I have taken one of your classes in person about 9 or 10 years ago. I have lived in CA over 30 years from New Jersey and here I am back in New Jersey.Yes I have a few longterm relationships here with women that I know from 2nd grade. I just moved into my own apartment for the first time in 10 years I have been living together, married and now divorced. Its great to have my own place again and not have to live with and be accountable to anyone but myself. However my soul is crying. I am so lonely and scared and worried and anxious about my future now. I just turned 56 and I never could have imagined being in the circumstances I am now.
This all leads up to yes I would love anything that you would put together. I would have to use the phone though but it works. I would support and do anything you would need done to move in the direction that your intuition is nudging you towards. I am going to pray that on one hand many women reach out to you for something like this and of course on the other hand it breaks my heart that other women share the same pain. Even though I have not been in direct communication with you when i joined facebook you said you remembered who I was. Its not important that you do although I was in the class when Laura M decided that Chris was the right man so you know what a life altering moment that was for everyone there. Well I am starting to run at the mouth so I will end with blessing you and your intuition and I so look forward to see what springs up.
Love,
Marcine Forman Raskin
July 26th, 2009 at 2:05 am
Dearest Marcine,
Thank you so much for sharing yourself so openly. Your courage and vulnerability will, I truly believe, give other women the courage to speak their truth. I read your comment earlier today and while I was in the car I was already getting some clarity about a program that could be very powerful for women feeling the way you expressed. I will certainly keep you posted. Thank you for your support. Sending much love and light.
Sonia
July 27th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Wow, thank you so much for this post. I’m 30 years old and was recently dumped by someone I thought I was going to marry,so I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot. Many of my friends and I are in this place of being in our 30’s, having an education, owning a home, and having fulfilled many of our dreams but are still single and don’t want to be. We are apart of the generation of women who were told you can be and do whatever you want, live your life. Finding a mate that we connect with seems so difficult, like it won’t happen.
If you do something on this topic I will be sure to pass it along to all of my friends.
Best,
Trenia
July 27th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Trenia~
Thank you for writing. The response has been dramatic. I’m very inspired and have been receiving a FLOOD of inspirational ideas about ways to address the unique needs, opportunities and challenges that mature women on their own face. I’m already organizing my thoughts… so stay tuned. More to follow! Blessings, Sonia
October 10th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
I am46 single and no kids am down! I do not fit in any circles ! Coz I don’t have kids! People look at me as if I am aleper why?
November 14th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Hi Tina,
My sense is that what you see and experience in others is a reflection of self-judgment and non-acceptance you have about yourself? What do you think? I find that anytime I feel someone is judging me they are simply holding a mirror up to where I judge myself. As you can REALLY love and accept where your child-free singledom, you can experience that with others… AND if if you wish to change this, ACCEPTANCE can be your springboard for transformation. Blessings,Sonia
November 17th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Hi Sonia. Yes , what you said completely resonates with me. I have never been truly successful with men and know its me who gets in my way. Anyway alone (albeit a mum to a fantastic child), at 48 and solvent, I would love to turn my life around and get that companion. Please yes, anything to support me and others would be great.
L x
November 18th, 2009 at 1:35 am
Hi Liz,
You know, relationships is one of my specialties! I was a woman who was clueless about how to create a successful relationship with a man. So much so that I dedicated 10 years of study to the topic. (I’m happily married now almost 15 years with 11 year old twins. I can say that manifesting the relationship of your dreams is absolutely learnable IF you’re willing to do the work. At this time, I’m not preparing a program specifically on the topic, however, I’d be happy to help you explore some resources for forward movement in this area. If you’re interested, please feel free to contact Chris, my Executive Manager at Chris@SuccessForTheSoul.com and ask him to schedule a complimentary Get to Know Session with me. These sessions are designed to help you open to possibilities and get clear about your next steps, whether they are with Success for the Soul, or otherwise. It would be my pleasure to help you brainstorm and get clarity if this is something you’re really ready to allow in your life! Blessings, Sonia
December 10th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Hi Sonia,
I have just purchased your book and for the first time I believe I have really hit on something that all of the other books on the law of attraction have missed. I am anxious to get started on the Vision exercise and really BELIEVE I will encounter success this time around.
I am 48, single with no children. I have been in several LT relationships, but have been alone since 2005. Like Tina, I understand the isolation that she feels. You feel like you don’t fit in. I wind up lying about my situation to new people I meet because I am so ashamed of who I am, who I have become. Maybe acceptance is the first step to transformation…..?
Anything that you can suggest to help with my work would be appreciated.
Thank you, Annette
December 10th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Hi Annette,
I’m so glad you are feeling encouraged. And yes, the Vision Workshop in the book is a powerful, powerful next step.
You know, it makes me so sad to hear about woman who are feeling so isolated. I was part of a women’s empowerment organization for ten years. It was one of the most defining experiences of my life. It was a place of love and support, but also a place where I learned how to be committed to other people’s success – really! I received the most honest, loving, sometimes tough, and committed support to be my best.
Whatever you seek, you CAN HAVE. It begins with being CLEAR about your dream. Again, the vision workshop is a great place to begin. Then, as you work with your energy, and take purposeful action, you CAN have what you seek.
I believe most of us need “our tribe”. They say, “when the students is ready, the teacher appears.” I think this is also true for finding your tribe.
Read the book. Do the exercises. And if you feel called to explore more personalized support in manifesting your vision, please call my office. I’d be happy to schedule a complimentary Get to Know Session with you to help you identify your next steps. I currently have a few spaces left in my private coaching schedule, and in April, the 2010 Boot Camp will be starting (see: http://ultimatemanifestsystem.com).
Also, be sure to sign up for my newsletter and or subscribe to the blog (check the two subscription field in the tan bar on the right.)
This way, you’ll be sure to received all the latest updates on programs being offered through Success for the Soul.
Blessings!
Sonia : )
October 5th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
Im still not feeling like I hear solutions to the loneliness..I hear that you are no longer lonely so what do you do..when it gets cumbersome to not only be single but to be a single mom too
October 7th, 2010 at 5:51 am
Of course, men never feel alone and isolated.
If a woman suffers from loneliness, it’s a big tragedy.
If a man suffers from loneliness, he has to suck it up and deal with it.