Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE launching the New Year with Power and Intention. In support of all of you who want to join me, I’m offering a F.r.e.e. 3-Part Tele-Series (one that’s never been done before). Mark your calendars and stay tuned for details!  Or to insure that you catch the latest breaking updates, feel free to subscribe to the RSS feed. Simply scroll down the navigation bar on the right and enter your email where it says, “Get Updates Delivered by Email.”

January 13, 2010 – Class #1
How to Blast Through Confusion, Overwhelm and Inertia
So YOU Can Confidently LAUNCH Your Dreams into Motion

February 10, 2010 – Class #2
How to End the Cycle of Frustration
and REALLY Get the Law of Attraction to Work for You

March 10, 2010 – Class #3
How to Break Through Your Own Glass Ceiling and
Finally Go BEYOND Where You’ve Always Stopped Before

Choose YOUR Reality! TM

(With these classes I’ll be showing you how!)

Sonia

(Although this article was written with the U.S. holiday of Thanksgiving in mind, but it is applicable year-round!)

With Thanksgiving upon us here in the U.S. we are offered the opportunity to elevate our understanding of gratitude: what it is, what we are grateful for, and what we are NOT grateful for.

This holiday is lovely in concept, but as a life coach I can tell you that the reality is not always so wonderful. Rather than being an opportunity to connect with our blessings, this day often becomes a catalyst that stirs emotions regarding tricky family dynamics, the pressures of expectations, and other less than celebratory issues.

No matter what “thanksgiving” means to you, whether you are celebrating the holiday or not, I’d like to highlight the power of gratitude in a way that escapes many. And it is this:

Oftentimes, the very thing that you need to change an undesired
circumstance in your life is GRATITUDE for that very circumstance.

Yes! This is completely counter-intuitive. Why would you give thanks for “bad luck,” misfortune, or adversity of any kind? Because if you don’t, there’s a pretty good chance that you are resisting it in one way or another, even if you think you are “going with the flow” or surrendering. Anything other than outright gratitude for your misfortune, may mean that at best, you are keeping the situation in a holding pattern, and at worst, you are magnifying it by fighting against it. What you resist persists, right?

Why Gratitude for Adversity works:

Giving and receiving are one and the same. They are part of a constant flow. When we give, we are participating in the Universe’s eternal flow of abundance. When we receive we are also participating in that flow. Abundance and well-being are NOT states of having. They are states of participating in the flow.

Whether we’re talking about money, relationships or health, you must join in the movement of energy. Everything is energy. Money is energy. Relationships are exchanges of energy. And health is the flow of life force energy within you.

Because the nature of the Universe is infinite abundance and well-being, it is consistently offering you all that you could need or want. However (and this is a big however) we judge what the Universe gives us. If we lose our job, we judge it as bad. If a situation doesn’t go our way, we judge it as bad. If we have to spend money we didn’t want to spend, we judge it as bad.

Every time you judge something as bad, two counterproductive things happen:

1) You called it “bad” and because you are a powerful creator, you MUST now experience it as bad, because that is all that you will allow into your experience, and
2) You’ve resisted it, which is a way of giving the very thing you don’t want lots of attention (i.e. energy) which simply magnifies the thing you don’t want.

This scenario is the very scenario that keeps us stuck and perpetuating what we don’t want for eternity! That is until, we change the scenario.

How do you do this?

1) Suspend judgment. When something bad happens refrain from the impulse to call it “bad” and instead tell yourself, “I suspend judgment. It is what it is. I’m willing to remember that Source is Well-Being. I remain open and receptive to this well-being.”
2) Then (and I know this is a big leap, but it works!) GIVE THANKS! Based on your willingness to trust that Source is giving you a blessing, even if you can’t see it or understand how your situation could possibly be a good thing, declare to yourself, “I give grateful thanks for this. I am willing to believe that there is good here, even if I can not perceive it, even if it feels bad or scary. I am willing to remain open and receive the blessings the Universe is offering me. I receive the good that is here right now!”

Giving thanks for the very misfortune you wish to reject is tantamount to waving a magic wand of transformation over the situation. This is because…

1) It is impossible to resist something and give thanks for it at the same time. So, any resistance that existed dissipates, and any power the negative situation had dissolves.
2) When you give thanks you are officially receiving. The Universe has been trying to give you something and now you’ve officially received. You have participated in the flow and now the energy of abundance and well-being can move through your life. If you do not receive what the Universe is trying to give you, it will keep trying to give it to you until you receive it. This is because that’s what the Universe does. It gives. It offers. It expands.

When you suspend judgment of what the Universe is giving you, then you can see the blessing. The blessing might be a new perspective, a lesson, an opportunity (maybe you had to let something go in order to receive something better). You may not see the blessing or understand it until sometime in the future. But if you move forward in trust, and receive what you’re being given, it will reveal itself.

Giving thanks when it feels good, or we’ve received what we want is easy, and yes it is expansive. But, giving thanks when it doesn’t feel good, or we can’t see the blessing – now that is downright transformational. You DO have the power to transform your situation. The question is, will you rise above your knee-jerk reactions to summon the creative well-spring of power within you.

Willingness.
Faith in goodness.
And a commitment to a better way.

It starts and continues here.

To learn more about the subtle nuances and advanced principles that make all the difference in harnessing the power of the Law of Attraction, consider picking up a copy of my book, “The Attraction Distraction: Why the Law of Attraction Isn’t Working for You and How to Get Results-Finally!” 

Helene (name changed to maintain confidentiality) came to me ready to do her next level of healing work after a huge and challenging time of transition in her life. She had been suspended from her profession in the medical field after taking responsibility for a substance abuse problem. Now clean and sober (for 6 months) she was ready to discover a new level of well-being and creative power within her.

Helene’s goals as a Transformation Private Coaching Client included:

• To heal her body after a life-time of pain,
• Find inner peace, and
• Know her true purpose… all so she could ultimately move on to create the next chapter of her life from a place of wholeness, purpose and empowerment.

Although our work did not look the way she thought it would (it rarely does!), with trust and consistency she experienced powerful break-throughs and recently shared the following with me in her pre-session check-in form:

“I am inspired by endless synchronicities that keep me positive that I am on the best path for my Self right now. That this IS my purpose. I am inspired from somewhere to shop and eat more healthy foods and walk every day NO MATTER WHAT!!!

My energy is up! My body is healing. My mind and soul are merging to become focused and true. My entire life feels better since beginning with you. I am discovering a strength I am already in possession of – I must only claim it – that is amazing and ever present.

I am progressing in the ability to speak my truth to myself and to others. I am successful in listening to my Self and Source and responding from there rather than reacting to life situations. I am finding my Peace for more and more of each day. I am excited about this day and the days to come. That’s new for me.”

If you’d like to learn more about how Success for the Soul can help you make your dreams come true, contact Executive Manager, Chris at Chris@Successforthesoul.com.

Choose YOUR Reality! tm

Sonia

There I found my tribe!  A group of like-minded and like-hearted spiritually-oriented entrepreneurs who seek to live their higher-purpose as changed agents, while exemplifying that one can give, serve and help others  WHILE being personally successful and fulfilled.  As a matter of fact, people who want to help others MUST be really good at with regard to self-care, finances and everything else.  Why? Because if you sacrifice your own well-being in the name of helping others, you can’t help others very well for very long, can you?  If your business isn’t profitable, if you can’t pay the bills, if you’re doing everything by yourself and that costs you health and time with your family… aren’t you defeating the purpose?

So, I invested in myself and my work by joining Lisa’s SASSY Mastermind Group.  SASSY is a play on Sasevich AND S.A.S. which is what we learn about: Sales, Authenticity and Success.  You see… one of the things spiritually-oriented professionals struggle with is how to share what they do, get paid appropriately WHILE remaining authentic and not feeling “salesy”… hence, SASSY!

Anyway… as a result of joining this mastermind, I’ve now begun to meet an extra-ordinary group of people.

I just met Veronica Karaman on our forum, and in a short time she has really impressed me!  Veronica offers a unique and eclectic blend of expertise: life coach, professional golfer, minister and relationship healer.  In getting to know her I learned of a free tele-class that really helps people absolutely have a different a positive experience with family members over the holidays.

After reading about her story and only listening to half of the audio, I KNEW I needed to let you know about it. 

This resource is a gem and Veronica teaches from personal experience and a wonderful well-spring of wisdom.

Check it out!

www.freshfamilyjoy.com

Choose YOUR Reality! TM

Sonia

Anyone who follows my journey with the Law of Attraction, metaphysics, and manifestation probably understands by now that I’m one of those people who can’t just accept the principles and teachings without understanding WHY they work. 

It has never been enough for someone to say, “practice gratitude.”  I needed to know WHY that was important.  What’s the underlying vibration of gratitude which, from a “like attracts like” perspective causes us to experience more fulfillment, abundance and well-being?

Same with: write and say your affirmations as if it is your reality NOW.  Not in the future.  Not from a place of “wanting.”  I couldn’t just “follow” the rules.  I needed to know WHY.  What is the vibrational difference?

Most recently, I’ve been delving into the vibration of FORGIVENESS.  I’ve been hearing about the power, importance and transformational magic of forgiveness for as long as I can remember.  But I had never really heard many teachers talk about it from a vibrational point of view.  WHY does it work? 

Well… I’m starting to get the answers I’ve been looking for, and will be sharing my thoughts in posts to come.  Until then though, I thought I’d share with you something to take in as you contemplate forgiveness in your own life.  I’d LOVE to hear about your thoughts and experiences with forgiveness.

Check out the video above and Azim’s book (link below).  I read a few excerpts on amazon.com and was hooked.  I ordered the book for myself and a friend who is going through a very challenging time. 

• The Secrets of the Bulletproof Spirit: How to Bounce Back from Life’s Hardest Hits by Asim Khamisa and Jillian Quinn

May your heart and life know the freedom, love and light of forgiveness.

Choose YOUR Reality!
Sonia

The key to harnessing the power of the Law of Attraction lies in your relationship with your emotions. Why? Because your emotional energy is THE determining factor in HOW your thoughts take form in your life.

If for example, when you think about job or career, you FEEL gratitude, trust, joy, positive expectation and enthusiasm, then you’ll manifest job and career experiences that reflect gratitude, trust, joy, positive expectation and enthusiasm.

If for example, your thoughts (about anything) are charged with feelings of fear, lack, threat, or disappointment, then you will manifest experiences that reflect those emotional energies.

Most Law of Attraction students get this basic concept. But just because they understand it intellectually, doesn’t mean they know how to become master of this powerful creative force that is their emotional energy.

And so, it is this opportunity that makes all the difference. Will you invest the time and energy to develop an empowering partnership with your emotional energy, or will you not? Your answer will have much to do with whether you feel that your life is at the mercy of circumstances and fate, or whether you’ll awaken to your power as the creator of your life.

The Law of Attraction is NOT a Genie in a Bottle

If you’re among the seekers who’ve come to understand that the Law of Attraction does not work like the proverbial rub-your-genie-out-of-your-bottle-poof-there’s-your-dream, AND you you’re willing to do the deeper work, then a pilgrimage into the intimate and sacred realm of your own emotional landscape could very well lead you to YOUR personal Holy Grail.

So, how and where does one begin this exciting and powerful inner trek? It all begins with a willingness to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is defined as “capable of being hurt, susceptible to corrupt influence, defenseless against attack.” To be vulnerable is to feel exposed, unsafe, or threatened. By mere definition one sees exactly WHY some seekers hold on to the fantasy of the magic genie in a bottle. Who wants to feel vulnerable!?

But it is vulnerability that opens the door to EVERYTHING. Vulnerability requires us to let our guard down. Vulnerability tells us we must let go of control. Vulnerability dictates that we must be willing to risk trusting – trusting a deeper part of ourselves, trusting other people, trusting Life, and trusting Spirit. And while we’re risking trusting in Goodness, we are also risking our worst fears, whatever they are.

The Pay Off

The payoff to all this risk? Divine, infinite possibilities!

When you let down your guard enough to open your heart to your own emotions, you open the door to your soul’s wisdom. This open door establishes a conduit to the flow of Source Energy in your consciousness and throughout your life. And once Source energy is flowing through you, the limitations of your mind and your physical reality, no longer apply. You have now officially tapped into the infinite.

However, just because the door is open doesn’t mean you know what to do with all this new emotional and divine information. You must learn the language of the emotions. Learn how to handle them, honor them and release them, so that inspired guidance becomes available to you. And once the inspired guidance is there, you must learn how to interpret it and heed it.

This Indiana Jones type spiritual-emotional journey is not for the faint of heart. There IS risk involved. And just like Indiana prepares for his journey with knowledge, skill and support, if you are called to this adventure, it behooves you to set yourself up for safety and success.

Guidelines for Summoning Your Reluctant Hero

One Step at a Time – Just because you understand that vulnerability requires risk, does not mean that you need to jump off a cliff. Surrendering to the power of vulnerability should not be an all-or-nothing proposition. Instead of the big leap into a dark abyss, think of it as a cautious exploration into uncharted woods.

Find a Map or Guide – An explorer never embarks on an adventure without some kinds of navigating tool. Be smart and find a book, a program, a counselor, coach, teacher or healer who can help you learn and understand and navigate this unfamiliar terrain.

Keep Your Sights on Your Ultimate Goal – When you open the door to your heart, it is not uncommon for there to be a temporary surge or mini-flood of energy – both emotional energy and spiritual energy. If you are not prepared, with the right support, this short-term “pressure adjustment” can feel very unsettling. By keeping in mind why you began this journey in the first place, you’ll be able to ride out any rough waters, until you come upon the calmer, more illuminated stretches in your spiritual-emotional travels.

There is untold spiritual freedom and expansion available to you if you are willing to call upon your inner-hero of vulnerability. With the right attitude and the right support, your internal spiritual explorer will take you on the most fulfilling, glorious adventure of your life!

Self-inquiry in and of itself is a powerful thing, but add to it the input and perceptions of fellow seekers that you’re willing to risk trusting and POOF – you’ve just taken a quantum leap into the world of self-discovery. 

I LOVE the group dynamic for growth and learning.  This is pretty hysterical given that at my first group I told everyone, “I don’t even know why I’m here.  I set goals and make them happen on my own.”  (read: “I don’t need you!”)

Well, obviously a part of me did need them because no matter what I tried, I wasn’t getting the results I wanted.  (Back then it had to do with learning how to have a successful relationship with a man.)

But, once the group cracked my shell of self-sufficiency, I learned that yes, I can make things happen by myself, but why would I?  It is so much easier when you let people help you!  Kind of like the difference between walking and flying.  Now-a-days the “Mastermind Group” is a popular format for tapping into the power of the group.  There are also countless support groups available for just about any topic in life: substance abuse, grief, dating, business… you name it, there is a probably a support group.  And then there are always groups that are structured around a curriculum, such as with group coaching, classes and teleseminars with forums.  I use the power of the group during my Q&A sessions for my Ultimate Manifestation System Boot Camp.  It never ceases to amaze me how much people get from each other!

In all of my years of “doing” personal growth work in group settings, one of my favorite activities included sitting around in a circle and having the “leader” ask a question that everyone had to answer.
Many times the questions consisted of something I’d never thought about before, much less asked myself. As a result, when answers emerged, I’d learn something new. And of course, listening to other people’s answers never failed to expand my consciousness or help me go deeper in knowing myself.

Lately I’ve felt inspired to create a list of such questions. I’d love your help! Below are a few of my favorites. Feel free to contemplate upon them for yourself and above all else, if you have some new ones to add PLEASE DO!

BTW, these questions are not about gathering trivial facts. These questions are supposed to reveal something about you – both to yourself and others. (Although I’d really love to know what your favorite cheese is, that’s not what I’m getting at here : )

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE QUESTION?

• What are you trying to prove?
• What are the 3 biggest defining events of your life?
• What are your top 3 favorite qualities about yourself?
• What do you struggle most to accept about yourself?
• Who are you?
• What job/profession would you most hate to do?
• What profession other than your current one would you most like to try?
• What’s your secret talent?
• What do you stand for?
• What do you believe in?
• What do you want to see end in your life time?
• If you were an animal (other than human) what would you be and why?
• What 3 people are your greatest inspiration?
• Which people in your life bring out your best? How?
• Would you rather be liked or respected?  Why?
• What holds you back?
• Think about a person you really struggle with?  How is he/she a reflection of you, that part of yourself you do not accept?

Choose YOUR Reality! TM

Sonia

I am compelled now more than ever to find a way to serve and the Universe has been sending me ALL KINDS of inspiring ideas about just how to do that.  I’ll be talking to my mentor/coach this week to run things by her and do more brainstorming and will keep you all posted.

Choose YOUR Reality! tm

Sonia

I did a lot of things “right” in caring for her and caring for myself while I was caring for her.

I slept.

I ate.

I asked for help.

I received help.

I’d set intentions.

I’d meditate.

I’d exercise when I could.

I’d read helpful books.

I’d open my heart.

I’d set boundaries.

I’d feel my feelings……

And yet, the one thing I couldn’t do was ELIMINATE the fact that my mom was battling cancer and I was her caregiver.  It was among the hardest things I’ve ever gone through and it was stressful no matter how you sliced it.  I would have LOVED to create a very different reality, but hard as I might, I couldn’t.  I wanted control over everything and I had control over nothing!

As I find myself unwinding, I find myself experiencing S-P-A-C-E in my life in ways I haven’t for a long time.  Space to be.  Space to have nothing vying for attention in my brain.  Space to be spontaneous.  Space to rest.  Space to catch up on the mundane.  And in the space, I’m feeling things I haven’t had the space to feel in a long time.  Loneliness for one.  I realized the other day that I have no social life.  And I haven’t for a looooong time.  So, with that awareness, I’ve become clear about some new intentions.  To reconnect with friends and make new ones.  What a happy thought!

Anyway, I digress… what I wanted to share is that in these spaces, I reconnected with an important Law of Attraction concept.  And it relates to one of the biggest distortions out there.  It goes something like this:  Just because we’re told that we “create our reality” does NOT mean that we get to CONTROL our reality.  We don’t. 

Just like we don’t get to control what the economy is doing, what world leaders are doing, what the weather is doing, or what our loved ones (or enemies for that matter) are doing,  we also don’t get to control how blessings manifest in our lives, small and large, how miracles occur, or how the Universe orchestrates things better than we could ever imagine.

Creating our reality is about CHOOSING how we will RELATE to what the Universe is giving us at any given moment.  There will always be events and conditions we’d rather NOT experience.  Our power, however, is not decided by whether or not we can determine a certain outcome (i.e. get control over the situation). 

Instead, our power as co-creators comes from…

1) ACCEPTING what is (i.e. releasing any resistance that might give an unwanted situation more life)

2) SUSPENDING JUDGMENT (i.e. rather than labeling something as “bad,” we tell ourselves, “It is not good, it is not bad.  It simply is what it is.”)

3) REMAINING OPEN AND TRUSTING THAT THERE IS GOOD HERE (… because Source is ALL-GOODNESS and Source is All-That-Is.  Therefore there MUST be GOOD here.)

4) ALLOWING THE GOOD TO BE REVEALED… and when it does…

5) GIVE GRATEFUL THANKS!

THIS is how we create our reality!

Choose YOURS – okay?

Sonia

And so, during these eleven days – the personal leave I’ve taken since my mother’s passing – even though I’ve wanted to connect with you (I didn’t want to just disappear), I didn’t know what to write about.  I felt like I had nothing to give.  The truth is that I needed and wanted life to be about MY needs.  I just wanted to BE. 

~ I didn’t want to be “on”.

~ I didn’t want to think or make any decisions that weren’t absolutely necessary.

~ I didn’t want to “have to” anything.

~ I didn’t want a schedule, or an alarm clock.

~ I didn’t want to “surrender” to other people’s needs, or to fulfill commitments.

After four years of caring for my mother, worrying about her, worrying about taking care of her while still wanting and having my own life – wanting to be present and available for my husband, our kids, my friends and my clients (and often feeling like I wasn’t doing any of those things well).  Holding a BIG GIANT SPACE for many different feelings:  love, care, concern, gratitude, grief, anger, burden, obligation, resentment, and exhaustion… after four years of that, I just wanted to have life on MY TERMS, even if only for a week.

And so I have. (As much as is realistically possible.)

Chris my husband has deftly done the River Dance of emotional spousal support, hopping between giving me my space and doing things for me.  The kids have been incredibly understanding amidst mommy’s explanations of “what’s going on” and thank you’s for their extra patience.  My clients have been incredibly loving, patient, understanding and supportive.  And my friends have done their own River Dance of support. (Bless you, all!)

All this has given me a symbolic transitional time of sorts.  I mean I know I’ll be in transition for longer than eleven days, but this time-off felt almost ceremonial. 

~ A crossing of the bridge from a life of caring for mom with cancer, to a life complete with that journey.

~ A time of giving to myself so that I can give to others again, the way I want to and love to.

~ A time to, as Abraham-Hicks teaches, “pick up my oars” and let my boat simply turn around on its own.  To stop paddling so hard upstream and remember that everything I want is downstream.

And what has all this “me time” given me?  A connection once again to all of you! 

This time of transition has reinforced for me, once again, an idea I believe in strongly. 

That TRANSITION doesn’t just happen, it is something that needs to be acknowledged.  It is something that needs to be honored.  Yes, life is full of endings and beginnings.  But between them are transitions.  And transitional times, when properly acknowledged, can be some of the most powerful times of life.  When we allow ourselves to simply “BE,” we create a space.  We become more able to live in the NOW.  We endeavor to release the past.  We give ourselves permission to refrain from grasping at the future.  We flow through the air between the trapeze bars… in FAITH. 

Yes, it can be uncomfortable and downright scary.  But that usually happens because we don’t understand that transition is normal.  Transition is healthy.  Transition is necessary.  When we learn how to BE in transition – allowing ourselves to be in the void, in the unknown – we let go of control.  And when we release control, we become receptive to the Divine.  We become the powerful manifestors that we can be because we ALLOW the infinite well-being that already is, into our lives.

Choose YOUR Reality! tm

Sonia